I finally braved going back to my GP for a referral.
I’ve seen 3 GP’s at my small doctors surgery in 3 visits. The first suggested going on the pill (a bit counterproductive, but hey), and that I was “still young” so not to worry. A few months later, the second referred me to a specialist because my symptoms clearly pointed to a problem, despite only being trying to conceive for less than a year.
I was hoping to see the second doctor, a woman, again. However being a small town, a woman GP is apparently a rare thing, so while she’s usually there ONCE a fortnight, this time she was on holiday so it would be months if I was to wait.
After my dealings with the specialist I saw, I was anxious. I made the appointment then cried. I worried about it but I pushed through because I was continuing to get nowhere fast.
So I went there and saw him, and he was happy to do a referral. But still subtle digs and arguments about my decisions, and a slight smirk after taking my blood pressure, which was slightly high because I was “a bit upset”. There is a lot to me said about sexism from doctors surrounding “women’s issues”.
I know my anxiety wasn’t just about that visit, but I had worked it up to be a big thing in my head. Not only that, but because it ultimately stemmed from how I was treated around my miscarriage, the anxiety was all tied up with grief around the loss and was a huge tangle of emotions.
So a month or so later, I saw the new specialist. I felt much more calm about this, even though this relationship was likely the most important part of where we went from here.
I needn’t have worried.
He was so great. He was thorough, he asked questions, he believed my answers. I had another internal scan (yay!), we talked through options, he was understanding about my situation regarding my husbands involvement.
The good news:
Ovulation! My last blood test showed good progesterone numbers (44), and the scan showed a 16mm follicle on my left ovary on day 8. It’s looking like my body is doing ovulation on it’s own so no need to worry about clomiphene again at the moment. This is such a relief, just knowing that I’m not reliant on anything to get over the first hurdle of having an egg available.
We have a plan! I’m hesitant to call this good news, but I’m also pleased to have a direction. He was tossing up between a laparoscopy and dye test, but in the end decided the lap is the way to go, with the dye test while I’m there, and he added in a hysteroscopy and D&C for good measure.
I’m not looking forward to it of course, but it will be such a relief to hopefully have some answers. I want to know that there is nothing ‘major’ to worry about, and while I think he’s probably right with tentatively guessing endometriosis (despite a lack of typical symptoms), it’s a load of my shoulders to have a thorough investigation to rule out anything nasty. In almost three years I have been unable to align my symptoms with any typical diagnosis, either gynecological or infertility related. That has weighed on my mind this whole time.
I have some concerns regarding this, though none related to the actual surgery. Work-wise, I’m self-employed so taking time off is basically an impossibility, but something I will have to work around for a day or two. I won’t really be able to take recovery time off, but I can take it a bit easier and can have help.
My husband won’t be able to be with me, and I worry about his stress levels on the day. He does find this sort of stuff really hard so I’ve not given him much details and have tried to reassure him it’s pretty minor. This means I either have no support person with me, or I ask my mum which is a challenge all in itself. In doing that, I know everything she knows and hears is going to be spread around anyone who will listen, and that she will feel her involvement is important going forward. I don’t really want this to happen and I don’t mind going into this alone really, but I would like someone there who can contact my husband and reassure him as soon as I’m out of theatre.
Plus I’m sure some food won’t go unappreciated during the overnight hospital stay!
Anyway, status quo for now until the surgery is scheduled (likely in the next few months), and then I will make a decision.
Have you had a laparoscopy or hysteroscopy? Any tips?